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One of the most powerful truths I share with parents is this: children learn far more from what we do than from what we say . You can teach coping skills, emotional regulation, and communication explicitly—but if your behavior tells a different story, your child will follow the behavior every time. Modeling healthy mental health strategies is not about being calm, regulated, and patient at all times. That’s neither realistic nor helpful. Instead, it’s about showing your chil

As a school psychologist, I often remind parents that how  we talk to children matters just as much as what  we say. Difficult topics—behavior problems, mental health, school struggles, peer conflict, screen use, or safety—can quickly trigger defensiveness in children. When children feel judged, blamed, or interrogated, their nervous system shifts into protection mode. At that point, learning, honesty, and connection shut down. The goal of effective communication is not to “w

Motivation is not a personality trait that children either have or do not have—it is a skill that develops over time. As a school psychologist, I often remind families that motivation grows from confidence, clarity, emotional safety, and a sense of purpose , not just consequences or rewards. When children feel capable, understood, and supported, they are far more likely to engage in homework, studying, chores, and proactive behaviors. The goal is not perfect compliance. The g

Many of the children who come through my office happen be picky eaters (along with other reasons their parents brought them to a school psychologist). Although their ages range from toddler to young adult, there are practical ways to collaborate and compromise to increase their pallets. Reasons for this pickiness usually include sensory avoidance or sensitivities, rigidity and past negative experiences or even a combination of two or more. When evaluating a child's overall w

When your adult child is wading through job boards, saying “I don’t know what I want,” or freezing at interviews, it’s normal to feel anxious as a parent and want to help. The good news: you can  help in practical, concrete ways that reduce their anxiety and increase their motivation — and one of the most powerful lenses for doing that is understanding the difference between a job  and a career , and how fit  (both personality fit and cultural/managerial fit) shapes long-term

As a school psychologist, one of the most important lessons I help families nurture in children and teens is accountability—the ability to recognize when we’ve made a mistake, take ownership of it, and make amends. Accountability is not about shame or punishment; rather, it is about building character, trust, and resilience. Many parents tell me, “My child always gets defensive when I try to correct them”  or “My teen blames everyone else when they’ve done something wrong.”  

As a school psychologist, one of the most common concerns I hear from parents is, “What do I do when my child gets upset because they don’t get their way—or when they refuse to do something they don’t want to do?”  These everyday struggles are natural parts of parenting, but how we respond in those moments can either escalate the situation or help children learn to regulate themselves. It so happens I recently witnessed this in full effect the other night at a restaurant when

This article is based off of the works of Kenneth Ginsburg, MD whose book Lighthouse Parenting: Raising Your Child With Loving Guidance for a Lifelong Bond can be found through any local or online retailers As a school psychologist, I often meet parents who are caught between two extremes: being overly protective (hovering like a helicopter) or stepping back too much (hands-off, free-range parenting). Both styles can leave children struggling—either without the space to deve

As a private practitioner , one of the most common concerns I hear from parents is, “How can I raise a child who is kind, compassionate, and empathetic in today’s world?”  With constant distractions from technology, increasing social pressures, and a culture that often emphasizes achievement over connection, many families feel unsure about how to nurture empathy at home. The good news? Empathy is a skill—it can be modeled, taught, and strengthened with practice. Just like rea

While an authoritative parenting style has long been deemed to be the most effective style by focusing on warmth, consistency and clear communication, parenting is more complicated than using a one-size-fits all approach. Social media, increased academic demands and overscheduling has complicated it even more for parents who are simultaneously trying to earn enough money to provide for their children’s needs and sometimes wants. Because of these factors, parenting may be more

Here's an example of a common interaction I have with teenagers regarding their schoolwork (or lack thereof): Me : "So your mom won't let you sleep over your friend's house because you have a low grade in Math. Why is it low? Missing homework, low test grades, etc.?" Student : "The teacher is terrible! They haven't put in my last two make-up assignments and I'm still waiting for them to ask me to make up the test. In the meantime they put a zero there until I can make it up s

It appears that each generation, children have more at their fingertips than previous generations. While my generation had CD players, bicycles and video games, this generation has smart phones, laptops, and unlimited streaming… which are all privileges (according to most adults). It’s helpful to keep this in mind when using consequences (negative or positive) at home. It is also helpful to establish the delineation between a right and a privilege as early as possible and wit