Raising Empathetic Kids in a Fast-Paced World: A School Psychologist’s Guide for Parents

As a private practitioner , one of the most common concerns I hear from parents is, “How can I raise a child who is kind, compassionate, and empathetic in today’s world?” With constant distractions from technology, increasing social pressures, and a culture that often emphasizes achievement over connection, many families feel unsure about how to nurture empathy at home. The good news? Empathy is a skill—it can be modeled, taught, and strengthened with practice. Just like reading or problem-solving, children learn empathy best when parents make it a natural part of daily life.

Empathy is more than just “being nice.” It is the ability to understand another person’s perspective and respond with care. Research shows that children who develop empathy:

• Form stronger friendships

• Are more resilient in the face of conflict

• Show greater cooperation in school and at home

• Grow into adults with healthier relationships and better leadership skills

  
  

Today’s children are growing up in a world very different from the one many parents remember:

• Digital Distraction: Social media and screen time can reduce face-to-face interaction, limiting natural opportunities for practicing empathy.

• Achievement Pressure: A focus on grades, sports, or extracurricular success can sometimes overshadow the importance of kindness and emotional intelligence.

• Reduced Downtime: Packed schedules often leave little room for reflection, imagination, or conversations that build emotional awareness.

These challenges don’t make empathy impossible to learn—they just mean parents need to be more intentional about weaving it into daily life.

1. Model Perspective-Taking Out Loud

Children learn best when we narrate our thought process. Try saying things like:

• “That cashier looks tired. I wonder if she had a long day. Let’s smile and thank her.”

• “Your sister feels frustrated because her block tower fell. How do you think we could help her feel better?”

When you put yourself in someone else’s shoes out loud, you show your child how to consider feelings beyond their own.

2. Encourage Role-Reversal Games

Simple role-play can be powerful:

• Switch roles during playtime (parent becomes the child, child becomes the parent).

• Ask after a conflict: “If you were your friend in this situation, how would you feel?”

These activities help kids practice seeing through another’s lens.

3. Build Gratitude Rituals

Gratitude is the foundation of empathy—it helps children recognize not only what they have, but how others contribute to their lives. Try:

• A nightly “gratitude circle” at dinner where each family member shares one thing they’re thankful for.

• Encouraging thank-you notes or drawings for teachers, neighbors, or relatives.

• Pointing out small acts of kindness, like when someone holds the door or shares a snack, and pausing to reflect on it together.

  
  

4. Use Books and Stories

Stories naturally immerse children in another character’s world. After reading, ask questions like:

• “Why do you think the character felt that way?”

• “What would you have done in their place?”

This builds both comprehension and emotional literacy.

5. Validate and Name Emotions

Children who understand their own emotions are better equipped to recognize them in others. Use phrases like:

• “I can see you’re really disappointed that the game ended. That’s a tough feeling.”

• “You seem excited—what’s making you feel that way?”

By giving emotions a name, you’re teaching empathy from the inside out.

Combating Modern Barriers

• Limit Digital Overload: Create tech-free times (meals, bedtime routines, or family walks) where genuine connection takes center stage.

• Value Kindness Alongside Achievement: Celebrate not only grades or goals but also acts of compassion. For example: “I noticed you helped your friend when she fell. That shows great kindness.”

• Prioritize Family Conversations: Even 10 minutes a day of distraction-free conversation strengthens empathy. Ask open-ended questions like, “What was the best part of your day? What was hard?”

Final Thoughts

Raising empathetic children in today’s fast-paced, screen-saturated culture takes effort—but it is possible, and deeply worth it. As parents, the most powerful teaching tool you have is your own behavior. When your child sees you pause, consider another’s feelings, express gratitude, and respond with compassion, they absorb those habits. Empathy isn’t something we teach once and check off a list—it’s a lifelong practice. But with small, consistent steps, you can help your child grow into a thoughtful, compassionate adult who makes a positive difference in the world.

David Krasky is a school psychologist working in private practice and author of Raising Future Adults which can now be found online for purchase