Building Relationships Like Wealth: Why Interpersonal Skills Are the Most Valuable Skill We Can Give Our Children
- David Krasky
- Jan 17
- 4 min read
In a world increasingly shaped by technology, automation, and artificial intelligence, one human skill remains irreplaceable: the ability to form and sustain meaningful relationships. As a school psychologist, I often tell parents that academic achievement may open doors, but interpersonal skills determine how far a child walks through them. Relationships will be the most important commodity of the future, not because knowledge is unimportant, but because connection, collaboration, empathy, and trust cannot be automated.
Strong interpersonal skills are not innate traits reserved for “naturally social” children. They are learned, practiced, and strengthened over time, just like reading or math. Below are evidence-informed, developmentally appropriate strategies to help children and teens build meaningful relationships, manage social anxiety or awkwardness, and develop healthy boundaries around in-person peer experiences.
Teaching Children How to Build Meaningful Relationships
At the core of every healthy relationship are a few foundational skills: curiosity, emotional awareness, reciprocity, and repair.
1. Teach Curiosity Over Performance
Many children believe friendship is about being impressive rather than being interested. Help children learn to ask open-ended questions and listen with intent:
“What do you like to do after school?”
“How did that make you feel?”
“Tell me more about that.”
Parents can model this by showing curiosity about their child’s inner world rather than focusing only on outcomes or behavior.
2. Practice Emotional Literacy
Children who can identify and express emotions connect more easily with others. Regularly
label emotions at home:
“You seemed disappointed when that happened.”
“It looks like you were proud of yourself.”
This builds empathy and helps children recognize emotions in peers, a critical component of strong relationships.
3. Normalize Effort and Repair
Friendships will involve misunderstandings. Teach children that relationships are built not by
perfection, but by repair:
Saying “I’m sorry”
Clarifying intent
Trying again after conflict
When children learn that mistakes do not end relationships, they become more resilient and socially confident.
Helping Children Push Through Social Anxiety and Awkwardness
Social anxiety often comes from fear of judgment, rejection, or embarrassment. Avoiding social situations may reduce anxiety in the short term, but it strengthens fear long term.
1. Normalize Awkwardness
Explain that awkward moments are universal and temporary. Even confident adults experience them (I actually tend to love the awkwardness and use it as a way to connect even more, but I'm what I call aggressively friendly and don't have the embarrassment gene). The goal is not to eliminate discomfort, but to tolerate it.
You might say:“Feeling nervous means you’re stretching yourself. That’s how confidence grows.”
2. Use Gradual Exposure
Break social challenges into manageable steps:
Saying hello or making eye contact while giving a wave or head nod
Asking one question or giving a compliment (on what they are wearing or how they look)
Staying for a short period
Celebrate effort, not outcome. Confidence is built through repeated exposure, not instant success.
3. Teach Self-Talk Skills
Help children replace anxious thoughts with realistic ones:
“I don’t need to be perfect.”
“I can handle feeling uncomfortable.”
“One awkward moment doesn’t define me.”
This cognitive flexibility is a powerful lifelong skill.
Setting Healthy Boundaries and Expectations for In-Person Peer Experiences
In-person interaction is essential for social development. While digital communication has value, it cannot replace the complexity of face-to-face relationships.
1. Set Clear Expectations for Social Engagement
Families should establish non-negotiables around in-person connection, such as:
Participation in group activities or clubs
Regular unstructured peer time
Screen-free social opportunities
These expectations should be framed as skill-building, not punishment.
2. Teach Boundary-Setting Language
Children need scripts for asserting themselves respectfully:
“I’m not comfortable with that.”
“I need some space right now.”
“I can’t do that, but thanks for asking.”
Boundaries protect relationships rather than damage them.
3. Emphasize Quality Over Quantity
Help children understand that meaningful relationships are not about popularity, followers, or constant availability. One or two safe, supportive connections are enough to foster emotional well-being.
Why These Skills Matter for the Future
The ability to build and sustain relationships directly impacts three critical areas of adult life:
Dating and Intimacy
Healthy romantic relationships require communication, emotional regulation, empathy, and boundaries. Children who practice these skills early are better equipped to navigate intimacy without losing themselves or tolerating unhealthy dynamics.
Employment and Career Success
The future workforce will prioritize collaboration, leadership, adaptability, and emotional intelligence. Employers consistently report that interpersonal skills matter as much, if not more, than technical expertise.
Overall Mental and Physical Well-Being
Strong relationships are one of the greatest protective factors against anxiety, depression, and chronic stress. Human connection supports resilience, self-worth, and long-term health.
Final Thoughts for Parents
If there is one message I want parents to take away, it is this: social skills are not a distraction from success, they are the foundation of it. By intentionally teaching children how to connect, communicate, and cope with discomfort, we prepare them not just for school, but for life.
Relationships will always matter. Our job is to give children the skills to build them well.
If you or your children are having difficulty with social development, here are some helpful resources:
https://www.socialkids.org/home A virtual space for kids to grow social skills
https://www.easterseals.com/ Organization that provides resources and support for children and teens with disabilities nationwide
https://www.bluebirdsocialskills.com/ Virtual social skills lessons and coaching for children, teens and young adults
Family resources for social/emotional development
If you’re looking for community-specific options in your own city or state:
Call 211 (United Way) – Free referral service connecting families with local social skills groups, parenting support, and peer activities near you.
Check school district & nonprofit listings – Your child’s school social worker or counselor may run social groups at school or refer you to community partners.
Local libraries & community centers – Often host playgroups, social clubs, and workshops where kids can build social skills naturally.
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