As a school psychologist, I often remind parents that how  we talk to children matters just as much as what  we say. Difficult topics—behavior problems, mental health, school struggles, peer conflict, screen use, or safety—can quickly trigger defensiveness in children. When children feel judged, blamed, or interrogated, their nervous system shifts into protection mode. At that point, learning, honesty, and connection shut down. The goal of effective communication is not to “w

The holiday season is filled with lights, excitement, and—if we’re being honest—an overwhelming number of “I want that!” moments. For children, this time of year is emotionally charged, making it the perfect opportunity to teach one of the most important lifelong skills: delay of gratification (unless you have unlimited money and resources...and even if you do, you should still teach this skill to your children). Delay of gratification is the ability to pause, think, and cho

Building Connection, Healthy Habits, and a Balanced Life In my work with families, one of the most common concerns I hear is this: “My child spends too much time on screens. How do I cut it back without a fight?” The truth is that screens are not inherently harmful—many offer educational value, creativity, and social connection. But when screen time crowds out relationships, physical activity, imaginative play, and real-world experiences , children lose opportunities that are

Parents are often surprised—and sometimes frustrated—to learn that the child who earns praise at school for being respectful, focused, and hardworking can become defiant, emotional, or dysregulated the moment they walk through the front door. This contrast is far more common than many families realize. Understanding why it happens is the first step toward creating a calmer, more cooperative home environment. As a psychologist, I see this pattern frequently, and it typically r

Learning isn’t one thing — it’s a set of processes that let kids understand, use, and transfer  knowledge, not just repeat facts on command. Below I explain, in plain language, what the science says about how children form durable learning, how you can teach them to become self-directed learners, and concrete strategies to make sure they learn  (not merely memorize). Most children, teens and young adults have shared that most of their learning is actually memorizing and event

Parenting a child with ADHD can sometimes feel like walking through a maze—just when you think you’ve found the right path, another challenge appears. Yet, with the right mindset and evidence-based strategies, children with ADHD can not only manage their symptoms but also flourish. The key lies in finding what works  and focusing on strengths , not just struggles. Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is not a lack of intelligence, motivation, or potential—it’s a di

According to the National Education Association, special education cuts will negatively impact students with disabilities by potentially decreasing funding, leading to fewer teachers and support staff, and reducing access to essential services like therapy and assistive technology. These cuts can also weaken federal oversight, making it harder to enforce legal protections and ensure schools provide a free and appropriate public education as required by the Individuals with Di

As parents, one of our greatest hopes is that our children will grow into independent, socially mature young adults who can navigate relationships, manage responsibilities, and make thoughtful choices. But independence and social maturity don’t develop on their own—they’re learned through meaningful experiences, consistent guidance, and opportunities to practice skills in the real world. Schools' have been focusing more and more on reading, writing and math with increased amo

"I'm fine!" "I'm only upset because you made me!" "Leave me alone!" As a school psychologist, I often remind parents that children “speak” in more ways than just words. Much of what we can learn about a child’s emotional and psychological functioning comes from carefully observing changes in their behavior, tone of voice, and daily habits. When parents tune into these subtle shifts, they gain valuable insights into how their child is feeling and can intervene early when conce

As a school psychologist, one of the most common concerns I hear from parents is, “What do I do when my child gets upset because they don’t get their way—or when they refuse to do something they don’t want to do?”  These everyday struggles are natural parts of parenting, but how we respond in those moments can either escalate the situation or help children learn to regulate themselves. It so happens I recently witnessed this in full effect the other night at a restaurant when

As a private practitioner , one of the most common concerns I hear from parents is, “How can I raise a child who is kind, compassionate, and empathetic in today’s world?”  With constant distractions from technology, increasing social pressures, and a culture that often emphasizes achievement over connection, many families feel unsure about how to nurture empathy at home. The good news? Empathy is a skill—it can be modeled, taught, and strengthened with practice. Just like rea

Parenting styles come in many forms, some rooted in decades of research, others born out of cultural trends or personal trial and error. One phrase that has surfaced recently in parenting conversations is the “F Around and Find Out” (FAFO) method . It reflects a parenting philosophy where children are allowed to test boundaries and directly experience the natural consequences of their actions. As a licensed school psychologist working in private practice, I can see why this a