"Do You Really Want That?" - Teaching Children Prioritization and Delaying Gratification During the Holiday Season

The holiday season is filled with lights, excitement, and—if we’re being honest—an overwhelming number of “I want that!” moments. For children, this time of year is emotionally charged, making it the perfect opportunity to teach one of the most important lifelong skills: delay of gratification (unless you have unlimited money and resources...and even if you do, you should still teach this skill to your children).

Delay of gratification is the ability to pause, think, and choose a long-term benefit over an immediate impulse. Research spanning decades shows that children who develop this skill tend to have stronger self-regulation, better academic performance, healthier relationships, and improved coping strategies in adulthood. The good news? The holiday season offers a natural, emotionally meaningful context for practicing it.

One simple but powerful tool for helping children build this skill is teaching them to pause and document their desires instead of acting on them—and this can be done with something as simple as taking a picture.

Why Pictures Help Children Slow Down

When a child sees something they want—a shiny toy in a store, a gadget in an online cart, or an ad flashing across a screen—the impulse to have it immediately is strong. Their developing brain is wired for emotional urgency and immediate reward. By asking your child to take a picture of the item instead of asking for it right away, you help them:

• Create distance between the emotion and the decision

• Shift from impulse to reflection

• Preserve the desire without fulfilling it immediately

• Feel heard and validated (“I see this matters to you, let’s save it”)

This simple step gives the brain space to regulate, making thoughtful decision-making more accessible.

Revisiting the Pictures: Building Insight and Priorities

After collecting photos throughout the season, set aside time—perhaps once a week or closer to the holiday—to review the pictures together. This ritual teaches your child several important skills:

1. Self-Reflection

Children often realize that something they wanted intensely last week no longer matters today. This helps them understand that emotions pass and desires can change.

2. Prioritization

With all the pictures laid out, ask questions such as:

• “Which of these still feels special to you?”

• “If you had to choose just a few, which would they be?”

• “What makes this one stand out?”

This process develops decision-making, critical thinking, and value-based choices—skills essential in adulthood when navigating budgeting, commitments, and long-term goals.

3. Emotional Tolerance

Waiting is uncomfortable. The more children practice it in supportive ways, the better they become at handling disappointment, frustration, and uncertainty.

How This Skill Supports Adult Life

Children who practice delay of gratification are more likely to grow up to:

• Manage money more effectively

• Think before making emotional purchases

• Set long-term goals and work toward them

• Resist social pressure and impulsive decisions

• Tolerate discomfort in the service of something meaningful

Teaching this skill during the holiday season is not just about gifts—it’s about building a foundation for self-control, resilience, and thoughtful decision-making.

Parent Strategies for In-Person and Online Shopping

1. Create a “Holiday Wish List” Photo Album

On your phone or the child’s device, create an album labeled “Holiday Wishes.”Anytime they see something they want—whether in a store aisle or on Amazon—take a picture and add it to the folder.

2. Use the Phrase: “Let’s Save It”

This validates the child’s feelings without giving in:“I can see you really like this. Let’s save it in your holiday wish list.”

3. Set Review Dates

Tell your child when you will revisit the list.Predictability helps reduce emotional urgency.

4. Don’t Shop While Emotional

If your child is tired, overstimulated, or already upset, treat the moment as a learning opportunity—not a decision moment.Use calm, simple language:“I won’t make decisions when we’re feeling stressed. Let’s look at this later.”

5. Avoid Impulse-Buy Traps Online

• Add items to a wishlist, not the cart.

• Require a 24–48 hour waiting period before purchases are considered.

• Encourage your child to compare, research, or read reviews.This builds patience and analytical skills.

6. Set Limits and Stick to Them

Let children know in advance how many gifts they can select from their final list.Consistency helps them feel secure and prevents last-minute bargaining or emotional pressure.

7. Model Your Own Self-Control

Children are watching your relationship with spending, stress, and holiday demands.Narrate your healthy choices:“I really like this, but I’m going to think about it for a few days.”

Final Thoughts

The holidays are filled with joy, but they’re also filled with opportunities to practice skills that last long after the decorations come down. Teaching children to pause, reflect, prioritize, and wait not only reduces stress in the moment—it shapes their ability to thrive as future adults. Taking pictures of holiday wishes may seem simple, but its impact is profound. In these small pauses, we teach children that their desires are valid, their choices matter, and that waiting can lead to more thoughtful and satisfying outcomes.

David Krasky is a licensed school psychologist who has worked with children, teens and families for over 20 years and author of