Your First Job Won't Be Your Last: A Psychologist’s Perspective on Navigating Career Uncertainty and the Power of Connection

For many young adults, landing that first job after graduation—or even during college—feels like stepping into an unknown world. The pressure to pick the right job, the perfect career path, or the ideal company is immense. Add to that the uncertainty of adulthood, a shaky job market, and constant comparison on social media, and it’s no wonder that so many young people feel overwhelmed before they even get started.

As a psychologist who works with adolescents and emerging adults, I hear this often:

"What if I choose the wrong job?"

"What if I don’t like it?"

"What if I’m not good at it?"

These questions are not only common—they're a sign that your children are thinking deeply about their futures. But they're also a reminder of the unrealistic expectation that their first job must define the rest of their life.

The Myth of the “Right” Career

One of the most paralyzing beliefs young adults hold is that their first job should be their forever job. In reality, most people pivot careers multiple times. In fact, research shows that the average person changes jobs 10–12 times over their lifetime. Your first job is not a final destination—it’s a launch pad. It's a place for young adults to learn about themselves, the workplace, and what they want and don't want in a career.

Rather than asking, “Is this the right job?”, encourage your teenage or adult children to as :

• What skills can I learn here?

• Will this help me grow professionally and personally?

• Can I see this job as a stepping stone rather than a life sentence?

Why They Are So Nervous—And Why That’s Okay

Starting a first job often comes with a wave of self-doubt and social comparison. Young adults might worry that they're behind their peers, or that they don’t have the qualifications others do. These thoughts can lead to imposter syndrome and a fear of failing before they've even begun. The truth? Everyone feels this way. Nervousness is a normal response to new challenges. It shows that they care, that they want to do well. The key is not to eliminate that anxiety—but to work with it. Normalize it. Learn from it. I often encourage young adults to reflect on times they've done something new and succeeded despite initial fear. The confidence they seek doesn’t usually come before the job—it grows through the job.

The Power of People: Networking and Relationship-Building

While résumés and applications matter, relationships are often the most powerful tool in their job search. Many young adults recoil at the term "networking," imagining awkward mixers or transactional LinkedIn messages. But networking is really about building genuine connections—with peers, mentors, professors, coworkers, and even friends of friends.

Here’s what I tell clients:

• Start small. Reach out to someone in a role you’re curious about. Ask for 15 minutes of their time to learn about their career journey.

• Be curious, not perfect. You don’t have to impress—just be genuinely interested in learning.

• Follow up. A thank-you note or a quick check-in can turn a one-time conversation into a long-term relationship.

• Stay open. Many opportunities come not from a formal job post, but from a casual conversation that led to a referral or insight.

Not only does networking open doors—it also helps young adults see what’s possible. Talking to people in the field can demystify industries, clarify goals, and help make better, more informed decisions.

You’re Not Behind—You’re Becoming

As a psychologist, I want to emphasize this: Young adults are not supposed to have it all figured out right now. Careers are not straight lines—they’re winding paths filled with trial, error, and self-discovery. Your child's first job may not be perfect. It may not be what they do forever. But it will teach them something valuable—about resilience, communication, responsibility, and about yourself.

So make sure to tell all the young adults out there feeling anxious, uncertain, or behind:You are not alone. You are not failing. You are learning—and that’s exactly where you’re supposed to be.

David Krasky is a licensed school psychologist and author of the book Raising Future Adults