Why My Child Doesn't Like Reading—and How to Change That
- David Krasky
- 6 days ago
- 6 min read
A School Psychologist's Guide to Helping Reluctant Readers Discover the Joy of Reading
"My child would rather do almost anything than read."
If you've ever said those words, you're far from alone.
As a school psychologist, I've worked with hundreds of children who insist they "hate reading." Yet, after taking a closer look, I've found that very few children truly dislike stories or learning. More often, they dislike how reading makes them feel. For some, reading feels frustrating. For others, it feels slow, boring, overwhelming, or like another school assignment waiting to be graded.
The encouraging news is that a child's relationship with reading is surprisingly flexible. Research consistently shows that motivation to read can be increased, even among children who have struggled for years. The key ISN'T forcing children to read more—it's helping them experience reading differently.
Why Reading Matters More Than Ever
Reading is one of the few skills that improves nearly every area of academic and personal development. Decades of educational research have shown that children who become proficient readers are more likely to succeed in nearly every school subject—not just language arts.
Strong readers develop:
Larger vocabularies
Better writing skills
Greater background knowledge
Improved reasoning abilities
Stronger memory
Better attention and concentration
Higher academic achievement across subjects
Reading also creates what researchers call the Matthew Effect. Children who enjoy reading tend to read more. Reading more builds vocabulary, knowledge, and comprehension. Those improvements make reading easier and more enjoyable. Children who avoid reading experience the opposite cycle. Because they read less, they gain less practice, making reading feel increasingly difficult over time. Like most other things in life, the more you do it, the better you get at it!
Reading Also Builds the Brain
Every time children read, they strengthen multiple brain systems simultaneously.
Reading exercises:
attention
working memory
language processing
visualization
executive functioning
cognitive flexibility
inferencing
emotional understanding
Unlike scrolling short videos or social media, reading requires the brain to sustain attention over time. That sustained mental effort strengthens the very skills children need for success in school. As long as social media and technology is around, it'll be imperative to prioritize our children's reading motivation.
Reading Creates Background Knowledge
One of the strongest predictors of reading comprehension isn't IQ. It isn't phonics. It isn't even vocabulary alone.
It's background knowledge.
The more children know about history, science, geography, sports, nature, and everyday life, the easier it becomes to understand what they read. Imagine reading an article about baseball without knowing the rules. Now imagine reading the same article after playing baseball for several years. The words haven't changed—but your understanding has.
Reading works the same way. Each book builds knowledge that makes the next book easier.
Knowledge compounds.
Reading Can Also Calm the Brain
Many parents think of reading only as an academic skill. It can also be an emotional regulation tool. Research has shown that quiet reading can reduce physiological stress, lower heart rate, and promote relaxation. Reading before bedtime is associated with improved sleep routines and provides a healthy alternative to stimulating screen use.
Stories also help children process emotions, escape daily stress, increase empathy, identify with characters overcoming challenges and practice mindfulness through sustained attention
For many children, reading becomes one of the healthiest ways to unwind after a busy day and hopefully a lifelong habit (instead of scrolling before bed).
Why Some Children Don't Like Reading
Children rarely dislike reading for just one reason. Common causes include:
Reading feels too hard
Children with dyslexia, ADHD, language disorders, or weak decoding skills often associate reading with repeated failure.
They struggle to concentrate
Children with attention difficulties may find long periods of reading mentally exhausting and use the term "boring" to describe reading.
Reading has become associated with conflict
If every reading session turns into reminders, nagging, arguments, or tears, children naturally begin avoiding it.
They haven't found books they actually enjoy
Not every child loves novels. Many reluctant readers become enthusiastic readers when introduced to graphic novels, sports or joke books, nonfiction, magazines and even "old-school" comic books.
Remember....All reading counts.
What Research Says Actually Increases Reading Motivation
Psychologists often refer to Self-Determination Theory, which shows that motivation grows when children experience autonomy, competence and connection
1. Give Children Choices
Choice dramatically increases motivation.
Instead of saying:
"Read this book."
Try:
"Would you rather read about sharks, basketball, magic, or outer space?"
Allow children to choose:
the book
where they read
when they read (within reasonable limits)
whether they read independently or together
Ownership increases motivation.
2. Help Children Feel Successful
Children are naturally motivated by success. Books that are too difficult quickly destroy motivation. A good rule is that children should recognize about 95–98% of the words independently. If every page feels like work, the book is probably too hard.
3. Read Together
Shared reading remains one of the strongest predictors of later reading enjoyment. Even older children often enjoy taking turns reading pages. Parents can model fluent reading, explain unfamiliar words, ask interesting questions, laugh together and discuss characters.
Reading becomes a relationship instead of a chore.
4. Connect Reading to Interests
If your child loves dinosaurs, sports, space, cars or even Pokémon, start there!
Motivation grows when reading helps children explore subjects they already love.
5. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
Instead of focusing on:
"You only read ten pages."
Praise effort.
Examples:
"I noticed you stayed focused today."
"You figured out a really difficult word."
"You kept going even when it got challenging."
Specific praise builds confidence.
Research-Based Ways to Improve Concentration While Reading
Many children aren't avoiding reading because they're lazy. They're mentally fatigued.
These strategies improve attention:
Read in Short Sessions
Ten to fifteen focused minutes often produces more learning than one distracted hour.
Remove Distractions
Research consistently shows that multitasking reduces comprehension. Turn off the television, iPads, phones and any other distracting background noise.
Take Movement Breaks
Children concentrate better after physical activity. Five minutes of movement before reading often improves attention.
Read at the Same Time Every Day
Brains love routines. Consistent reading times reduce resistance because reading becomes predictable. You can even have family reading time in which everyone in the house is reading at the same time (and in the same room if that works for everyone).
Proven Ways to Improve Reading Comprehension
Reading words isn't enough. Children need to think while reading.
Teach them to:
Predict
"What do you think will happen next?"
Visualize
"What picture do you see in your mind?"
Ask Questions
"What are you wondering about?"
Summarize
"What happened in your own words?"
Make Connections
"Has anything like this ever happened to you?"
These simple conversations dramatically improve comprehension.
Positive Parenting Works Better Than Punishment
One of the biggest mistakes I see is turning reading into a power struggle. Parents understandably become frustrated. Children dig in. Everyone loses. Instead of punishment, think about structure.
Children thrive with clear expectations delivered calmly and consistently.
For example:
Instead of saying:
"You're grounded until you read."
Try:
"Reading is one of the responsibilities that comes before screen time."
Notice the difference. Reading ISN'T a punishment. It's simply part of the daily routine.
Set Clear Boundaries Without Battles
Positive parenting combines warmth with firm expectations.
Try these strategies:
Establish Predictable Reading Times
Examples:
after homework
before electronics
before bedtime
Consistency reduces negotiation.
Use "When...Then" Statements
Instead of threats:
"When your reading is finished, then you can play your game."
This keeps expectations calm and predictable.
Keep Expectations Realistic
A reluctant reader may begin with:
10 minutes
one chapter
five pages
Success builds momentum.
Let Natural Rewards Do the Work
Children often discover that reading itself becomes rewarding once they become immersed in a good story. Avoid paying children to read whenever possible. While incentives can increase short-term participation, research suggests that relying heavily on external rewards may reduce internal motivation over time. If rewards are used, make them temporary and pair them with genuine praise, choice, and enjoyable reading experiences.
Make Reading Part of Family Culture
Children imitate what they see. If parents spend every evening on phones but ask children to read, the message becomes confusing. Consider creating a family reading time where everyone reads something (e.g., novels, newspapers, magazines, cookbooks, etc.). Children learn that reading isn't just for school. It's something adults value too.
Final Thoughts
Helping children enjoy reading isn't about finding the perfect book or discovering one magical strategy. It's about creating an environment where reading feels achievable, interesting, and emotionally safe. When children experience success, choice, encouragement, and consistency, something remarkable often happens.
Reading stops feeling like work. It becomes a doorway. A doorway to new ideas and adventures, greater confidence and better learning.
As parents, our goal isn't simply to raise children who can read. It's to raise children who want to read—and who discover that books can educate, inspire, comfort, and open doors long after childhood has ended.
For more articles like this, click here or get your copy of Raising Future Adults by David Krasky, Psy.S., author and Licensed School Psychologist
Helpful Resources
Learning Ally - An online organization that provides audio textbooks, novels, comics and more
Florida Center for Reading Research - Free reading activities for children in PK - 5th grade
George & Barbara Bush Foundation - Online Literacy Toolkit for Parents
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