A Model of Mental Health: How A Few Easy Changes In Your Day Can Help Teach Your Children How to Develop Lifelong Self-Care and Self-Compassion

In a world that feels increasingly fast-paced, overstimulating, and demanding, many parents are searching for ways to support their children's emotional resilience and mental health. The truth is, some of the most powerful lessons you can teach your child about mental well-being aren’t delivered through lectures or therapy sessions—they're modeled in everyday life.

Your daily choices, habits, and mindset shape the emotional blueprint your child will carry into adulthood. By adopting a few intentional practices centered on self-care, connection, and purpose, you can become a living example of how to maintain emotional balance and self-compassion. Taking care of one’s social/emotional well being is no longer a mystery. It can be equated to taking care of one’s physical health in that there is plenty of data supporting preventative ways to prevent life long emotional dysfunction. Below are three key areas where small, consistent actions can make a lasting impact.

1. Practice Gratitude: Teach Contentment Through Consistency

Gratitude is one of the simplest and most effective tools for improving mental health. Research shows that regularly acknowledging what we’re thankful for can boost mood, reduce stress, and foster a greater sense of life satisfaction. It also teaches perspective when things don’t go the way we want. By focusing on what we have instead of what we don’t, we can help our children learn how to better cope with difficult situations and defeat.

How to Model It:

• Start or end the day with a “gratitude pause.” Say out loud one or two things you're thankful for, whether it's a warm cup of coffee, a kind gesture, or simply the sunlight.

• Invite your children into this routine. Around the dinner table or during bedtime, ask them, “What was one good thing that happened today?”

• When something goes wrong, try modeling reframing: “Today was stressful, but I’m thankful we got through it together.”

Over time, this shifts focus from what’s lacking to what’s meaningful—teaching your children how to find hope even in hard moments.

2. Connect with Others: Relationships Are Mental Health

Human beings are wired for connection. A strong support network is one of the most important protective factors for mental health. When parents prioritize building and nurturing relationships, they model to children that they are not alone in the world.

How to Model It:

• Make regular time for family conversations, even if it’s just 10 minutes of undistracted check-in time.

• Let your children see you reaching out to friends or family members—not just during crises, but to share joy or just connect.

• Talk openly about feelings. Normalize naming your emotions and inviting others to do the same: “I felt overwhelmed earlier, so I took a walk and called a friend. It helped a lot.”

This teaches children that emotions are part of life and that relationships are a safe place to process them.

3. Cultivate Peace and Purpose: Create Rhythm, Not Perfection

A peaceful life doesn’t mean an easy one—it means one with intention. When children observe adults living with a sense of purpose, even amid chaos, they learn how to anchor themselves in values instead of external pressures.

How to Model It:

• Set boundaries around work, screen time, and commitments so your child sees that peace comes from saying "no" sometimes.

• Create small rituals—Sunday morning pancakes, evening walks, or 5-minute journaling—that build a sense of rhythm and predictability.

• Talk about your own values: “I love helping others—that’s why I volunteer,” or “Being outside makes me feel more grounded.”

  
  

This builds an inner compass in your child, teaching them that well-being isn’t about chasing happiness but about creating meaning and alignment with who they are.

4. Mistakes are Good

Our culture often focuses on what we do wrong instead of valuing mistakes as effective ways to learn and grow. Model a growth mindset when faced when challenges by using specific terminology when either you or your children “fail.” 

How to Model It:

• When it comes to school-related work, use terms like “you’re still learning” or “you haven’t mastered it yet.”

• If you or your child has an outburst with yelling, attitude or name calling (or all of the above), make sure that after everyone has calmed down, you reconnect with your child and let them know that YOU are still working on handling your own frustration and anxiety and that you can both keep doing things to get better at communicating when upset (e.g., asking for space, setting a time later in the day when everyone’s temperature has cooled off, etc.).

• Focus on effort instead of results. If your child has given enough effort to get a good grade or perform well at an upcoming game, performance, etc. and don’t meet their expectations, focus on their effort. Remind them that they put themself in the best possible situation to succeed and even the most successful people fail sometimes.

Final Thoughts: It Starts With You

You don’t have to be perfect to be a powerful model of mental health. In fact, showing your children how you handle stress, disappointment, and self-doubt with grace and honesty may be the most valuable gift you give them. By practicing gratitude, nurturing relationships, living with a sense of purpose and having a growth mindset, you create a household culture where emotional wellness is not just taught—it’s lived. And in doing so, you equip your children with the inner tools to care for themselves long after childhood ends.

Your children are watching—and learning—not just from what you say, but from who you are. Choose daily habits that reflect the kind of self-compassion and emotional strength you hope they will carry into their own future.

David Krasky is a licensed school psychologist in Florida and author of Raising Future Adults